


Bandette vs Lupin

by kingbeezelbub



Category: Bandette, Lupin III
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Crossover, Gen, Lupin being trolled, but lupin is determined to get the last laugh, i have no idea what i'm writing here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22584715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingbeezelbub/pseuds/kingbeezelbub
Summary: Lupin decides to go back to his old stomping grounds in France after hearing about a diamond necklace on display, dragging his friends along for the ride. However, he's not alone in aiming for the prize as a certain master thief decides to make her move as well.Who will come out on top? Only the heavens themselves know!





	1. Lupin Thwarted?! The Elegant Arrival of the Lady Thief Bandette!

A starry night fell over the City of Love, Paris. It was home to many things, such as croissants, baguettes, the Eiffel Tower, and it was home to one of the greatest thieves of history, Arsene Lupin. The legendary phantom thief had stole many things and swindled many riches from many people, inspiring a new generation of thieves to surpass his exploits.

One such thief was his grandson, Lupin the 3rd, who was currently at the Louvre, sneaking around the halls with his usual grace. He moved his watch towards his mouth and shifted his eyes. "Jigen, any problems at your end?" He asked.

 _"Not a problem, boss."_ Jigen Daisuke, Lupin's right hand man, spoke from his comm. " _You're in the clear."_

"Good to hear," The grandson of Lupin the 1st smirked as he then spotted the case that held the famous necklace that was rumored to be worn by Marie Antoinette herself. "And I just found the prize..." He pulled out a disc from his pocket and flung it into the air, letting it cling to the wall as the lasers surrounding the case shorted out. He then causally strolled towards the object of his desire and slowly lifted the glass case upwards. "Hmph. This was almost too easy."

"Indeed, _monsieur_!" A female's voice answered him, making him nearly drop the case. Lupin quickly turned to face a red-headed girl clad in a red mini-dress, a yellow cape, and a domino mask over her eyes. She was smiling widely at him, eyeing him curiously. "Pardon me, but you resemble someone that I know quite well."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Look, little lady-"

"Non, non! Let me guess! You are... Jerry Lewis!"

Lupin blinked at her in confusion. "Now, hold on-"

"Oh? Am I wrong? Let me try again! You are... Inspector Clouseau!"

"Listen here, missy, I am not an officer! I'm-!"

" _Arsene Lupin le Troisieme!_ "   


The master thief raised an eyebrow at the redhead dramatically pointing at him. "Got it in one, and allow me to make a guess of my own. You're one of those French super-heroines, aren't you?" Lupin set the case down as the redhead shook her head.

"Alas, I am not. I am simply a fellow thief, like yourself, dear Arsene." The masked redhead then waltzed around Lupin as she eyed the necklace. "And you are here to steal the diamond necklace, no?"

Lupin wanted to facepalm at this scene happening. He did not have time for this game she was playing. "Look, miss-"

"I am Bandette!" The redhead leaned forwards with a smile. "And it is an honor to meet a legend in the flesh!" She reached out and grabbed Lupin's hand, shaking it. " _Bonjour!_ "

The man slowly pried his hand away from Bandette and frowned. "Yes, I get that all the time, too. Now, go play pretend somewhere else. I am busy taking this beauty away for people that actually want it." Lupin turned around and raised his arm, only for a bare wrist to greet him. "Huh?! Hey, what the-?!"

"And Bonjour to you too, _monsieur_!" The redheaded thief spoke into Lupin's watch in a friendly tone. "You are Arsene's friend, are you not?"

" _Hey, what the_ _hell?!"_ Jigen's surprised voice rang back. " _Who the hell are you? Where's Lupin?"_

"Your friend is right beside me, good sir." Bandette chirped in a chipper tone. "And may I be bold to ask for your name?" She then danced away from the now-annoyed thief's attempts to grab his watch from her. "Goodness, Arsene! Did your mother not teach you that it is rude to interrupt?"

"You give that back, damn it!" Lupin shouted, red-faced.  


Bandette wagged a finger at him. "You didn't say please."

Lupin bit back a curse as he let out a sigh. "...Please." He grit out. 

Bandette then tossed the watch back to him and walked over to the case and placed it back onto the display. "There, Arsene, was that so hard?"

"Hey, what are you-"

He was cut off by something being gently inserted into his mouth. It tasted like...chocolate?! Lupin just stared at the redhead in disbelief as she made her way towards the window. "Mmmph?" He let out a muffled cry.

"You should have more sweets! A candy bar is good for the soul." Bandette then stopped at the windowsill, pulling something from her cape and holding it up for Lupin to see. It was the...diamond necklace?! "And don't bother yourself with the one in the display, Arsene. Replicas are not as good as the real thing. _Au revoir~!_ " She waved goodbye and jumped out of the window.

"GURK!" Lupin pulled the chocolate bar out of his mouth and let out a growl. "Damn it to hell, how did she do that!? I didn't even see her go near the case!" He clenched his fists in anger.

_"Boss, we got bigger problems, Security is on its way!"_

Lupin shook his head as he began to make his getaway. "Mark my words, Bandette. You won't pull a fast one like that again! Or my name isn't Lupin the Third!" The red-jacketed thief ran down the hall as he was en route to his escape. No matter. There were plenty of fishes in the sea of France, after all. All he had to do was to keep his guard up around the little redheaded weasel called Bandette. No one would outdo him in his own game!

As Lupin and Jigen drove away from the Louvre, Bandette was watching them with an intrigued gaze, petting her dog. "Well, well. Looks like we have competition, don't we, Pimento?" The dog barked happily as she smiled widely.


	2. Chapter 2

Back in one of his safe-houses in Paris, Lupin was pacing back and forth furiously in front of Jigen, who was reading the newspaper, and Goemon, who was meditating. A frown was on his usually jolly face. "Damn it, how could I have not noticed a master thief right in my own turf?" He groused, shaking his head. "Especially someone skilled enough to swap out something very valuable..."

"Perhaps she took inspiration from your exploits of your family?" Goemon suggested.

"Or maybe you're getting old," Jigen snorted.

"You guys aren't helping, you know that?" Lupin grumbled as he flopped into his chair, crossing his arms. An annoyed look was upon his face. "I've got to do something about this...Bandette character. I can't let her get in the way of my grand welcome to Paris!" He let out a heavy sigh as he began to search his jacket for his cigarettes. "I need to-Huh?"

Jigen and Goemon turned to look at their leader. "What's up, boss?" The gunman asked.

"Son of a bitch...!" Lupin slowly pulled out a bag of macarons, eyes wide. "I know I had a pack of smokes in my jacket, she must've taken them!"

"Well, you can always borrow some of mine," Jigen reached into his pocket...and pulled out some bite-sized chocolates. "The hell?!"

Goemon raised an eyebrow. "It seems this Bandette favors sweet things, and wishes to spread it among us."

"This isn't funny, Goemon!" Lupin whined, facepalming into his hands. "Damn it, to think she's crafty enough to-" He stopped and lifted his head, eyes narrowed. "Goemon, where's Zantetsuken?"

The samurai gave the thief a neutral look. "It is nearby, as always." He got up and grabbed the blade next to the table near his chair. He then pulled it out of his sheath... only for a very large bubble to appear in front of him. The iron-cutting blade was replaced by a big bubble wand. "How...?!" Goemon paled.

"Okay, that's it. I've had enough of the jokes." Jigen reached for his gun... and grabbed a toy dart gun, which went off and the dart landed against a wall. "Aw, come on!"

"Gentlemen, we have an intruder in our midst." Lupin frowned, slowly rising from his chair and pulling a macaron from his bag. "And I think she's right here with us!" He flung the macaron in a random direction.

" _Bonjour_ , gentlemen!" The redheaded masked thief emerged from behind the patio curtain, catching the macaron and popped it into her mouth. "Did you enjoy my gifts?"

"Gifts? You call this a gift?" Jigen raised his dart gun in his hand, annoyed. "I'd rather have my old gun back, thanks. This 'gift' of yours won't do any good against bad guys."

Goemon frowned at Bandette, an aura of irritation surrounding him. "You will return my sword to me at once."

" _Oui, oui!_ I will return your weapons to you as soon as you will tell me why are you carrying them around for." The redhead then reached behind the curtain and presented Pimento, who barked happily. "But in the meantime, be a dear and hold Pimento for me, will you?" She handed the dog to Goemon, who reluctantly took it as she then strolled over and sat in a nearby chair.

"Okay, listen, Bandana-"

" _Non!_ "

Lupin yelped as his hand was slapped by the frowning girl. "Ow!" He squeaked out. "That hurt..."

"My name is Bandette. Address me properly, or not at all!"

Jigen let out a groan and pulled his hat over his eyes. "Oh, man..."

The monkey-faced thief then decided to change tactics. "Very well, Miss Bandette. We'll come clean about our affair."

"Hey, Lupin-" Jigen then was shushed as Lupin held a hand in the air.

"We heard about the art festival in Paris, and we decided to check it out for ourselves. There's some very valuable pieces that many people would love to cherish and take for themselves. We're here to make sure that never happens." The red-jacket thief explained, hands behind his head.

"So, you are here to take some of them for yourselves, then?" Bandette relaxed into her chair.

"Well, when you put it like that..." Lupin scratched his head.

An annoyed groan came from Jigen as he got to his feet, shaking his head at the whole affair. "For fuck's sake, Lupin. Why don't you tell her we're here to rob Henri LeMonde while we're at it?" He then felt a macaron fly into his mouth, silencing him as Bandette frowned at him.

"Language, _monsieur_!"

Lupin fought the urge to laugh as he looked at the redhead. "Sorry about Jigen, he's a little antsy about his gun. Security blanket and all that." He shot her a weak smile. "Same with Goemon over here. He really wants his sword back."

"I would like it very much," The samurai replied, petting Pimento softly as the small dog nestled comfortably in his lap.

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." Bandette then hopped off of her seat and went behind the curtain, then pulled out Zantetsuken, placing it near Goemon. "For you, _monsieur_."

Goemon bowed his head, handing Pimento back to Bandette, the dog yipping happily in his owner's arms. "It seems Pimento likes your friend, Arsene."

"Yeah, that's great and all, but can you give me my gun back, too?" Jigen asked, tipping his hat back. "I feel naked without it too."

Bandette then wagged a finger at him. "Say please."

"...Do I have to?" He looked at Lupin for help, but the thief just shrugged. "...Can I please have my gun back?" The gunman then saw the redhead pull out his gun from inside her minidress and hand it to him. Jigen eyed her strangely. "...Why did you have that there?"

Bandette ignored him and turned to Lupin. "And for you, Arsene." She pulled out his Walther from her cape and handed it to him. "I do hope you gentlemen don't cause any trouble in your stay in Paris. I will be watching. _Au revoir_!" She then darted out towards the patio, carrying Pimento as she disappeared into the night.

"...She was very nice." Goemon replied.

"Yeah, she's like a less sexy, more annoying Fujiko." Jigen grunted.

"Jigen!" Lupin complained. "That's not nice!"

The gunman snorted. "Just be glad the real Fujiko isn't here to see this."

Just then, Lupin's cell phone rang. He picked it up and answered it. "Hello~?" He called out.

" _Hello, lover~_ " Fujiko's honeyed voice cooed into his ear.

"Fujicakes~!" Lupin's eyes became hearts as he sank into his chair, giggling. "It's been so long since I've heard your voice! How are you?"

Fujiko giggled. " _I'm just getting out of the Parisian airport. I'm going to arrive at a nearby hotel, the usual fancy place. Are you nearby? I'm hoping we could find a place for us to_ _eat."_

"Oh, of course, Fujicakes! I'm at one of my safehouses near the airport, I'll put on my best clothes, and I'll be right over there with bells on~! I'll see you there!" He hung up the phone and let out a giggle. "At least things are looking up tonight!"

"Looking up, he says," Jigen snorted, glancing at Goemon. "I bet he'll try to look up her dress, right, Goemon?"

"Please don't be so crass, Jigen." The samurai blushed, looking away.

"You two can sit here and be boring by ourselves if you want to, but I'm going to enjoy what the City of Love has to offer me!" Lupin rubbed his hands eagerly, a devious smile on his face. "I've got a hot date tonight. Don't wait up, boys!" He then rushed off upstairs as the gunman and samurai sighed, looking at each other.

"Fujiko's going to pull a fast one on him."

"I have no doubts.


End file.
